I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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