Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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