Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
