You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
