tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
