Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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