Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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