I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sorry my hands just texted you
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
