remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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