you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
