New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
