Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
