I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
