omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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