That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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