Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize