I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize
