its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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