well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
