I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
