Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
