i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
