I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
