don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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