Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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