I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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