Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
