I didn't shave. On purpose
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize