Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
