Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
