Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
my liver is dry heaving
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
