Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
