I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Im part way to drunk.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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