do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i will never coherently bang her
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
