we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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