I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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