The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he thought i was a dude.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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