the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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