My nipple is on Facebook.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
