I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
