I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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