Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
third nipple confirmed
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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