sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
