So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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