these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
