Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
