Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
