how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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