Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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