And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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