I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
