What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize