Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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