were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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