.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
