Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
