just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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