I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Randomize
